Out of Africa: God is in Control

(Me, feeding a giraffe along side the road, after leaving an Aids Orphanage in Nairobi)

Psalm 121:1,2 and 7,8

"I lift my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth...The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

I was raised in church and my parents taught me about Jesus since I was a little girl.  I loved Jesus and asked him into my heart when I was about 10.  Years later, I rededicated my life to him and was baptized two days before 9/11.  But sometimes, there comes an "aha" moment when it all comes together and you truly understand what God is all about.  I've had many "aha" moments throughout my life, but none like what happened when, in 2006, I travelled to Africa.  I could tell many stories about my 3 week trip to Kenya and Ethiopia, but for this moment, I just want to share one in particluar.

My two daughters were young, Ireland was not quite 2 years old and Katie turned 7 while I was in Nairobi.  My husband agreed to take on the parenting while I travelled halfway across the world.  At the time, I worked in the international division of the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. and one of our missionaries was planning a conference for women in Africa.  She needed to travel back to the region, but had some health issues.  My boss decided to send me with her, along with a doctor friend, in case there were any issues. 

For those of you who do not know, I HATE to fly, with a passion.  Can't stand flying... big machines like that should just not defy gravity and stay in the air.  The other reason I don't like flying is that I'm not in control.  I want to be the pilot - I have to know everything is ok, checks were made, oil was changed, or whatever they do to make sure the plane is safe, I want to be in charge and in control of the aircraft.  Well, knowing that's not a possibly, I have to trust that this was a trip I was supposed to take (after much prayer about if I should go or not!) and that everything was going to be ok.  I had a choice of flying 8 hours across the ocean and then after a long layover in Amsterdam, another 8 hours to Kenya.  Or, I could have flown an approximate 16 hr straight trip to Kenya.  I didn't want to fly the 30 minutes to Chicago, let alone 16 hours in one vessel (can they hold that much fuel?), so I chose the 2 seperate flights.  I arrive in Chicago and look out the window at our plane that would be flying us to Amsterdam.  It was a two story plane.  I've never in my life seen something so big.  Were they sure this could stay in the air?  I was pretty sure it was too heavy.  But trusting in God, I stepped on the plane. 

The above verse (Psalm 121) is one of my very favorite verses.  I recite that whenever I need to remember that God is there all the time, with me, supporting me, protecting me.  Let's just say, I think I said that verse for 8 solid hours.  We landed in Amsterdam at sunrise.  I've never seen anything so beautiful.  I had no idea that it was only going to get better.  After a long layover, I boarded another plane, and prayed for another 8 hours (as we traveled over Venice, the Meditteranean and even the Saraha Desert).  I was in awe and amazement of what this looked like from the air!  God is so amazing!

Now I need to fast forward or I will be typing for 3 years telling my many Africa stories....After a few weeks, we were in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (the Capital City).  We then were to travel to a village called Gambella.  Three weeks before I arrived, people were not allowed to travel to that village due to Muslims were beheading Christians that wouldn't renounce their faith.  That was an eye-opener.  Here I just came from a country where I am free to worship anytime I want, and these people who loved Jesus and were Christians were behing beheaded!  Now that I was here, the trouble had stopped and they said we could go on into the village. (yay.....)  We boarded yet another plane....one that, after we landed, my traveling companion had told me was one of the most hijacked airlines ever....glad she didn't tell me that before or I would have waiting in the capital for her to return.  

We arrived in Gambella and stayed for a few days (which, I could tell many stories about the week we stayed there!  But I'm trying to get to my point, just need to give you some background...). 

Here is the church that we were able to worship in on that Sunday. 

  Here is the inside of the church:

Here was the inside of the church that became packed that Sunday morning.  People were hanging in the windows to hear the preaching.  They sat us in the front row and someone from the village translated the sermon into my ear.  It was about 110 degrees outside, so probably a bit hotter in the church, and we worshipped for 3 hours!  What I was thinking about during that service was that three weeks ago, these people were being beheaded for worshipping God and hear I sat, knowing that any moment, there could be trouble again.  When back home in America, how many times had I not gone to church because I just wanted to sleep in.  These people wanted to go to church and didn't stay home just because they could be killed!  They were worshipping God in the midst of all the trouble. This is where my "aha" moment began to take shape...

We were in the villages of East and West Gambella.  There wasn't electricity, hot water or communications.  We were there for 5 days.  During the week, we travelled back and forth between West and East Gambella, which was just a short walk.  Here is how they decorated their huts - look at the bottom for the designs....

I remember nights I'd lay awake underneath my mosquito net, terrified of the gecko that taunted me, scared of the huge millipedes and other insects I couldn't identify, wondering what my husband and children were doing back home.  There were a few nights that I let the tears flow as I hadn't talked to anyone in my family due to lack of communications, how did they even know I was alive?  I would recite Psalm 121 and it would calm my soul.

At the end of several days, we travelled to another village called Mizan Tefri.  It was a 12 hour drive from Gambella to Mizan.  That was an exciting trip and I could add many more stories (being attacked by fire ants, the bumpy ride, the people walking that I didn't know where they came from or where they were going, etc etc).

 Here are children excited to see us.  I waved at them and they waved at us until we couldn't see each other anymore.

We arrived in Mizan and stayed there for several days.  This was a beautiful place and we had a very nice missionary home that we stayed in.  The people were amazing and I fell in love with them and this place.  Once it was close to time to head back to the capital city (another 12 hour drive) we received word that there was trouble on the road (more muslims killing Christians) and it probably wasn't safe for 4 traveling white women to be on the road.  We were advised to charter a plane.  A plane????  Just great, another plane ride.  And I knew what chartering a plane meant.  It wasn't going to be a double decker plane like I'd travelled in style in on the way to Amsterdam.  That one wasn't supposed to stay in the air because it was too big.  This one probably wouldn't stay in the air because it was too small!  I didn't remember seeing an airport, so I asked where this plane was going to pick us up...I think I remember them just patting my leg and laughing.  I was the only one in the group who had never been to Africa, and most of my group had lived in Africa for several months at some point or another, so I gave them many laughs while on this trip.

One saying I learned in Africa was that "Americans have watches, Africans have time."  How true I discovered this to be.  We woke up the morning we were to meet the plane and I was excited about getting back to the Capital because this meant it was close to going back home to my family.  We were supposed to meet the plane at 3:30pm (which in Africa could be 2:00 or it could be 5:00...just whenever they got around to it.).  They drove us to the airfield.  We arrived and I couldn't find the blacktop landing strip. Where was the airport? And yes, I had to ask....

Here is a picture of the airstrip.  It was covered with people and animals...We were there for several hours, just waiting on the plane.  We decided to have lunch.  Here we are waiting on our food...(I'm the one playing with my ponytail).

The Injera bread arrived.  There were no utensils and everyone shared the meal.  You just pulled off a piece of bread and dipped it in the lentils or whatever else was there (I didn't ask, I just ate it).  It was actually very tasty.  The darker it was, the hotter it was...

Here comes the plane!  It had to buzz the airfield to get all the animals off the field.  One little donkey was quite stubborn and the plane had to follow him to get him off the field.

The plane arrives and I am so very nervous.  Just getting on that tiny plane and not being in control of it made me almost sick to my stomach.  I had not talked to anyone in my family in many, many days.  For all they know, I could be dead.  I really was thinking these things!  I looked around the air strip and we were down in a valley, with moutains and hills all around.  How did I know that we weren't going to take off and a donkey run in front of us and crash the plane?  How did I know that we weren't going to crash right into the mountain side.  How many stories had I heard about planes crashing into mountains and no one knew they were dead until weeks later? 
As I looked up and saw the mountains, and I remembered the Psalm that I had been reciting since the beginning of the trip, "I lift my eyes unto the hills - where does my help come from...?"  I began praying and thanking God for the trip. Many times during this trip I had become closer to God and this was just another step in that direction.  I began reciting the Psalm and praying that God bring me back to my family safely.

We quickly boarded the plane - I think it sat 6 people.  Remember I hate flying and I wanted to be the pilot so I could be in control?  This is the smallest plane I'd ever been on and I was the closest to being the pilot that I'd ever be, as I was able to sit right behind him!

We took off very quickly and I remember shutting my eyes, praying that the donkey wouldn't run in front of us.  I don't know why I was so terrified of this plane ride.  I think it was truly because I hadn't had any contact with my family and I thought that the last thing they would hear about me was that I'd crashed into a mountainside.  I closed my eyes and recited that Psalm again and again. I was almost to the point of hyperventilation as I opened my eyes and all I could see was mountain/hills directly in front of us.  The pilot pulled up the plane and then we were engulfed in clouds so thick, I couldn't see the mountains anymore.  If I couldn't see them, then netiher could the pilot!  I remember he pushed a button that read "ON".  He looked confused and pushed it again.  He then pushed the "ON" button once again.  My thoughts were, after he pushed the button several times, was, "WHAT IS NOT COMING ON???"  There was something that was supposed to come on, and it wasn't coming on!!  Either the pilot gave up, or it came on, because he stopped pushing the button.  The pilot then brought out a map and began pointing to it.  Oh great!  Did he not know where we were??  As you can see in the picture below, all I can see is Pilot, Map and white clouds.  Where were we and how was he making sure we weren't going to go into the mountainside??? 

God began quietly telling me through the Psalm that my help comes from Him.  He will calm my fears and take care of me.  He was saying Trust in Me. I will return you safely to your family.  I am in Control.  Not you.  

That's right!  GOD is in control.  NOT ME!  I was so concerned that the pilot didn't know what he was doing, that I didn't know how to fly a plane - so I couldn't help, that all these factors were causing my irrational fear, when I wasn't really ever in control - God is!  He pulled me through many situations during this trip (remember I mentioned the fire ants!) and he was in control of this situation.  I had my eyes closed and was praying and having this conversation with God when He told me to open my eyes.

Really, are you sure God?  Because I'd really like to keep them closed til this plane ride is over.  I'm trusting you, but it's easier to do that with my eyes closed because I can't see anything that we are about to crash into.... He said, "My Child - open your eyes"... so I did (I think I opened them one at a time, very slowly...).

At that moment, the solid white clouds parted and we were flying beside the most beautiful rainbow I had ever seen. 

(We were able to get a picture of it, but it doesn't do it justice, it truly was a beautiful rainbow).

That moment was my "AHA" moment!  God IS in contol.  We have to trust him completely, in EVERY situation.  Once I opened my eyes and trusted God, he provided for me.  He provided safety (we landed the plane about an hour later and saw a beautiful sunset), he provided beauty (there were no more clouds and it was clear flying.  I was able to see beautiful landscapes) and he proved to me the knowledge that I COULD trust Him. 

(Note the huts you can see from the air...)

I always thought that I was the one always in control, and I would think "yes, I'll trust you God, if we can just do things my way...."  During this trip, He changed my thought process.

This trip taught me many things. This trip changed my life for the better.  I no longer take for granted that I am able to sit in a church, worship God and not worry about being beheaded.  I am able to thank God that I don't have to walk miles to a river to gather water everyday or that I don't have to spend all day preparing food for the one meal that is served at dinner time. 

I thank God the lessons he taught me about completely relying on Him and trusting Him to provide, take care of and sustain me. He will give you strength when you need it and protection when you call on His name.  We are not in control.  God is always in control of our lives we just have to give it all to Him and trust him in every situation.

It is now 2011, and many things have happened in my life since this trip.  I changed jobs and became a police officer (a life-long dream!) - God showed me in many situations that He was in control and provided protection for me and my fellow officers.  Now gas prices are rising, the cost of food sky rocketing and uncertainty is within the world.  But as I remember the trip the changed my life, I remember that God is in control of every action.  He will take care of us and provide for us. 

Just turn to him, call on His name and open your eyes.  You'll see His promise of a rainbow in the darkness surrounding you.  You'll land on solid ground and He will provide for all your needs, for "the Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made...He is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." Psalm 145: 13 - 19.

(Another rainbow in Mizan)

(Most Pictures taken by Amy M. and Caryl W.)

Mother's Day

Today's was Mother's Day. I woke to the pitter patter of little feet wanting breakfast. So I made homemade waffles, with some help from Ireland. We ate our waffles with Peanut butter and syrup. Really, is there any other way? I then played on the computer for a little bit while looking out at the fog and rain. I really didn't want it to rain on Mother's day! After lunch, the sun peeked thru the clouds and the skies turned blue. It became a beautiful day after all!

The girls and I went outside to play. They rode their bikes while I sat in a lawn chair reading my new kindle (I just love that thing!). We decided the grass wasn't too wet, so we decided to swing. Katie and Ireland swung (and argued quite a bit), but I sat in the grass and reflected on all my blessings.

The birds were chirping. The squirrels were barking at our pug, the pug was barking at the squirrels. The wind was blowing through the trees, clouds were making shapes overhead and it was a happy day.

Hidden Treasures

As you know from my latest post, the Lake House that was in the family for many years, is no longer. After my grandparents' passed away, my sister bought the Lake House from the estate so that we could all still enjoy it. For several years, we always joked that Mama and Papa had hidden treasure somewhere for us to find. Was it in the garage? In the boat? Underneath the deck? In the well-pump room? Ooh - I bet it was behind the picture that was literally glued to the wall! The Lake House was still furnished and had all of their personal items in it when my sister bought it. We would be going through the cabinets and finding special dishes that would bring back a memory of Mama's famous foods. We'd be out in the boat and find a fishing pole that reminded us of Papa and his catfish (that I would literally eat gagging, just to make him happy, as he thought the taste of catfish was the greatest thing in the world!).
This past Saturday as we were cleaning out the Lake House, we were coming across other things that we hadn't noticed in years. We'd laugh and say, "Oh! I bet that's where they hid the treasure!" One thing that I took home with me was the large woodens stereo - you know the kind from around the 1970's? It has a stereo (AM/FM), record player and an 8-Track tape player. I hadn't seen one of those since I was a kid! When we moved the table that was in front of the stereo, there was a large box and it was filled with 8-track tapes!! I had no idea that those had been there this whole time. I loaded up the stereo with the box of tapes and headed home. We arrived home and set up the stereo and started playing the radio - it sounded like it was brand new! I opened my Hope Chest, which holds all my prized possessions, and brought out my 45 records that I had when I was younger. My daughters thought I'd lost my marbles as I played Shaun Cassidy, Billy Joel, Madonna and Debarge. My daughters had never seen or heard a record player. They were in awe. My 11 year old began looking around and beside the stereo when she asked "Where do the CD's go??"

That's when I pulled out the 8-track tapes. The kids were mesmerized. I put the first one in - it was Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn. Oh, how I could see my Papa tapping his foot (and Mama rolling her eyes!). The kids weren't quite sure what to think of this contraption. But as I started going through the tapes, I started heading down memory lane....there was an Elvis tape - Oh how Mama loved Elvis and Graceland. There was George Jones and Tammy Wynette (who I saw in concert just before she passed away), and there was Box Car Willie (My kids had thought I lost my mind as I started singing "Heaven" along with Willie).

As I shuffled through the tapes, the last tape that I found absolutely brought tears to my eyes as the memories flooded my mind. It was a blue 8-track that was entitled "The Magic Organ, A Magic Christmas". This tape was my absolute FAVORITE when I was little. My Mama would take me and my cousin to Holiday World (Then called Santa Claus Land)every summer. And the entire ride to the park and back, we'd listen to that Magic Organ playing Christmas songs. Once 8-tracks went out of style, Mama knew that I loved that so much, that she made a copy of it onto a regular cassette tape. EVERY Christmas, my family listens to this cassette as we put up our Christmas tree (and every Christmas the kids and hubby roll their eyes, but endure it as they know it's special to Mommy). The cassette tape has all the songs listed in Mama's handwriting and I remember all the times she probably endured that music too because she knew I loved it so much.


So, when I found this box of 8-track tapes and the memory it holds, I realized there wasn't any hidden treasure that they had buried for us to find. The treasure has been around us this entire time! Each snippet of memory that a dish, fishing pole or stereo held was a treasure of memories that Mama and Papa created for us to enjoy for a lifetime. The treasure we joked of finding wasn't a material item that we had to dig up, or that had a monetary value.

The hidden treasure is what they buried deep in our hearts and minds, for their values they taught us, laughs we shared and for their memory to live on to share with our children and grandchildren.

Thank you Mama and Papa for all the love you showed us and for creating memories that I will "treasure" forever.

The Lake House

Many years ago, my grandparents bought a house on Lake Nolin. There is not a summer I can remember that we didn't go to the Lake House. This house holds so many wonderful memories of family gatherings, nights spent with my Papa and Mama, days fishing and swimming in the Lake, and most recently, memories of times with my Mom and sisters', to even a quilting retreat we held there!


When my grandparents' both passed away, my sister bought the property to keep it in the family. We have spent the last several years there making more memories for our children and grandchildren. My sister recently sold the Lake House and yesterday was the last gathering for all of us.


Pictured from left (back row) is Shelley, Eric, Tami, me, Mom, Josh. Front Row: Hannah, Ireland and Katie


Mama and Papa lived at the Lake House all summer long. I remember how beautiful she would keep the yard and all of it's flowers. Papa would fish every morning and Mama would make her daily trip to the Wal-mart. The big attraction for the kids at the Lake House was the huge rope swing. Everytime we went to the Lake House, we'd spend hours on that rope swing. It didn't matter how old we got, we still swung on the swing - I even swung yesterday!

This picture was from a few years ago)

Yesterday, Josh climbed the swing instead of swinging on it. He said he'd always wanted to do that and he made it almost all the way to the top!


We had a wonderful day yesterday, reliving cherished memories. I'm so glad that my children were able to make memories of their own in a place that is so full of love and is so peaceful.

Ireland picking flowers for our picnic lunch.

There are so many memories, that I can't type them all. So, those family members reading my blog - please add your favorite memory as a comment!